Here's a List of What I've Done Instead of Finishing Red Dead Redemption 2

It's a long, hard road to seeing those blessed credits roll in Red Dead 2. Just when you think the narrative is coming to a close, the game laughs in your face and spins back up again to terminal velocity. I want to enjoy my new PC, but I can't, because of this voice in my head screaming "you still haven't finished Red Dead 2, what is your b***h ass doing playing Destiny." Days pass. A week. Still, the last chapter taunts me from the depths of my PS4. Here's what I've done instead of doing my "GAWD DAMN JOB." Haha, Dutch jokes. *** 1. Buy Spyro, then not play Spyro because the game icon sits too close to Red Dead 2 on the PlayStation dashboard.

2. Put up a Christmas tree, which reminded me that Arthur won't get to experience another Christmas season, which reminded me I still don't know for sure whether or not Arthur even dies, because I still haven't finished Red Dead 2. 3. Took down Christmas tree. 4. Wrote a 12,000 word fan-fic about the disappearance of Gavin.

5. Seriously, where the f**k is Gavin. 6. Watch all my casual, normie friends finish Red Dead 2, one by one. Each completion a reminder that I am, indeed, a failure. 7. Consider watching a Twitch playthrough of the ending, just so I can convincingly tell people I've finished it 8. Get ending ruined by aforementioned normie friend who'd wrongly assumed I'd done my diligence as a PROFESSIONAL VIDEO GAME BLOGGER to finish the biggest game of the year. 9. Hahahahahahahaha 10. Stare at my monitor, watching the particle effects on the dashboard circle around and around and around the Red Dead 2 icon.

11. Go for a walk, stumble over a log. Reminisce about that time my horse tripped over a log in Red Dead 2 and I was absolutely sure I'd killed it. Haha, I wish I were dead.

12. Write this dumb f***ing blog post no one is going to read.

13. Start Red Dead Redemption 1. Thanks for reading, Jake