Currently Playing: Burnout Paradise, Assassin's Creed Origins

Well, less than 20 hours into Nioh and the training wheels have finally come off. I am now regularly getting my ass kicked. I finally killed Umi-Bozu, a towering gelatinous sea monster that launches ship wreckage from its gaping eye hole. This was terrifying until I realized Umi is basically just Seth Rogan's animated character from Monsters vs. Aliens, at which point the encounter quickly shifted from frightening into what is now unmistakably "meme territory." (I have included a side by side for reference, please see below).

After the slaying of Umi, the game difficulty apparently ramps way the fuck up and enemies are now straight up hate criming my tiny ninja body into the next plain of existence. But the joke is on you, Nioh. I learned a long time ago that you have to take it slow with these types of games, and when you start seductively eyeing that second floor drop out of your bedroom window, it's time to take a break. I AM THE BIGGER MAN.

Thankfully, the Burnout: Paradise remaster came out this weekend, and similar to the nice-guy role I served to many of my childhood crushes, it was all too eager to be my shoulder to cry on. Inevitably, as soon as those tears dried and confidence began to return I would slowly, cautiously, return to Nioh. It will be different this time, I'd tell myself, knowing full well it was a lie. Nioh would hurt me again, and I knew it. Thankfully, Burnout: Paradise was always there to pick up the pieces. What a nice game, I'd tell my friends. I wish I could find a great game like him.

Bad metaphors aside, Burnout is a series that I've always loved deeply. One of my fondest childhood memories was renting Burnout: Revenge for the original Xbox and playing the crash mode all night long with friends. The sole purpose of this mode was to crash into intersections and create the biggest traffic jam possible, and it was a blast.

I wish with all my heart Burnout: Paradise had a crash mode, but even without it, it's still

some of the most satisfying arcade racing you can currently play. Especially on PlayStation, where an open-world "Forza Horizon"-type game is sorely lacking, Burnout: Paradise helps fill the void, and good lord is it still so much fun to play.

Paradise is a game that knows what it needs to be. You won't find a forced, Need For Speed-esque narrative here- just non-stop, high-octane racing. Taking down opponents has always been at the core of the Burnout franchise, and it feels as good as ever here. Slamming into an opponent and watching the slow-mo of their vehicle careening into a wall never get's old. Couple that with how freaking good it feels to drift in this game, or how satisfying it is to keep your boost constantly topped off by taking down opponents/hitting big jumps, and you've got a recipe for some seriously addictive arcade racing.

Paradise City is also one of my favorite sandboxes in an open-world driving game, second only to maybe the Forza Horizon games. Criterion has loaded the map with billboards to crash through (these serve as collectibles), as well as hundreds of shortcut routes and stunt ramps- some of which are comically massive. The only thing more enjoyable than landing these jumps, is not getting up enough speed and watching the hilarious slow-motion replay of your vehicle slamming several feet below where you were supposed to land.

To a lesser extent, I've also been trying to get through the new Assassin's Creed: Origins DLC, Curse of the Pharaoh. If you haven't picked up Origins yet because "lol another buggy AC game" you need to rethink that decision. This is arguably the best Assassin's Creed game since AC2, and it's the first one I've actually managed to finish. While it does re-trod some of the familiar open-world gameplay mechanics, the good far outweighs the bad. Ubisoft wisely decided to take a page out of the Witcher playbook in regards to its quest system and just how damn much there is to do. The combat is also an improvement over previous AC iterations, although--minor gripe--it's impossible to decapitate enemies even though some of your killing animations DEFINITELY slice through their necks.

Literally unplayable.

Curse of the Pharaoh is good so far, although I'm a little burned out on Origins due to how much time I've put into the base game and the previous DLC. After probably 80+ hours its just become a little too much of a good thing, and there are too many other games vying for my time. I'll have more to say about Curse of the Pharaoh if or when I finally finish it.

By the time this blog comes out, two games I'm really excited for will have released: No Way Out and Ni No Kuni II. Farcry 5 is also just around the corner. I'm a poor boi, so I'm not sure which one I should get first. Feeling like Farcry might be more of a "rent and beat over the weekend" kind of game. What games have you guys been playing? Hit me with your game suggestions / recommendations in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!

Jake

Last note: I'm currently planning some future content that I'm really excited to share with you guys. Eventually, the plan is to intersperse some more in-depth pieces that will examine video games as cultural statements, and the impact they can have on society. The first of these will focus on violence in videos games, since this is clearly still a popular subject. I realize these more serious reads won't be for everybody, but I believe they will provide more substance than the surface level "currently playing" write ups (which aren't going away). If those aren't gonna be your thing, I'm also going to be doing some "just-for-fun" pieces. To give you an idea, next Wednesday I'll be posting a particularly nasty breakup letter that I'll be sending to the previous love of my life, Destiny.

Keep your eyes peeled. *insert obligatory spongebob gif here*